From Despair to Rebirth: Waking Up and Letting Go of My Past

I didn’t ask to wake up. I didn’t plan it. But I did.

And for a while, it was crushing.

When I first began to see the world clearly, beneath the surface illusions and inherited beliefs; it broke me. I spiraled. My thoughts turned against me. Memories resurfaced like demons, whispering that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t belong here, amongst other things. I felt like I was drowning in a reality I never agreed to, surrounded by a world that felt foreign and heavy.

The pain was real. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Some days felt like the end.

But then something shifted.

I realized I wasn’t just waking up; I was being reborn.

The past? It’s dead. Truly. It no longer owns me. It no longer defines me. I remembered things I didn’t think I was supposed to remember, and I felt things I didn’t think I could bear. But that was the process. That was the breaking open, not the breaking down.

Now, I see it clearly: I get to start over.

I am a newborn in this world. I have the chance to live again, fully, consciously, and joyfully. I get to enjoy the beauty here without carrying the weight of everything I’ve been through. That’s not denial. It’s liberation. It’s choosing life.

The alternative was death—emotional, spiritual, or maybe even literal. I was right there, at the edge. But I pulled back with a truth that anchored me:

I don’t have to be scared of this new beginning. I get to enjoy it.

Every day is an opportunity to explore who I really am. Not who I was told to be. I’ve learned that I’m made of many spirits, many layers. And the more I learn, the more I uncover my strength.

Waking up wasn’t the end, it was the beginning. And I’m finally ready to live.

If you’re standing at the edge of your own awakening, know this: it’s okay to let your past die. Your new beginning is waiting. Embrace it. Live it. And don’t look back 🫶